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Pain! Again!
It was the same! The same agony that had assaulted him, when he had first arrived on the ship.
What had the Mel done? How had she found a way to cause him so much pain?
And cold.
So very cold.
The Master opened his eyes.
Ah.
So. He had reclaimed his body.
The battle had been brief and ferocious, but he had won.
The foolish Mel could not hope to stand before him.
But where was he?
His body had been on a bed, in a warmed room.
Why was it so cold? Why was he floating, as if transformed into vapour?
The Master opened his eyes.
Blackness. All was blackness.
He turned, only to find himself spinning helplessly, as if he were encompassed by nothingness. Only stars were visible, but beneath him, all was black.
As he revolved, the bed he had been lying in came into view.
It, too, was floating in blackness as if there were nothing to support it.
And it was so Cold! His blood and bones were locking into place.
The realisation hit him.
He knew where he was.
The device in his hand vibrated. He lifted it, changing the direction of his floating spin as he did so.
When he looked at it, a screen, much like those that Boris and Igor loved so much, popped out into the ether above it.
Three words were on the screen:
Bang. You're dead.
He was under attack!
Something struck his chest, with more power than he had ever felt before.
It was as if time had slowed; as if he had taken the blue potion.
He felt the object impact against his chest.
He felt it rip through his skin.
He felt his bones break.
He felt his heart turn to liquid, as the projectile thrust it through the back of his ribcage.
He knew he was going to die.
In a few short seconds, he would be no more.
His hand made awful creaking, snapping sounds, as he forced it to ignore the cold, and reach into his pocket.
The yellow! The yellow!
The box opened, and phials spilled out into the blackness.
The Yellow!
It was in his fingers!
The cork popped out, and he downed the evil brew.
Minutes! He now had minutes!
He needed to find blood!
They had fired a projectile at him. He knew where they were!
He focused his senses in that direction.
There!
He had found her!
The Mel! She was there!
He reached out with his mind. He could take control of the magical transport device, and move his body back into the ship!
Then she will feel my wrath!
But what was this?
Beneath his feet, the blackness had cracked.
A curve, of incomprehensible size, of brilliant light; like the smile of the food beasts' Cheshire cat.
The Master's eyes were drawn to it, unbelieving that such a gigantic smile could exist.
Wider.
The colossal cat's smile grew ever wider.
He knew what it was! The curve was bigger than could ever be seen on Mother Earth, but he knew what it was!
He had only seconds left to act!
THE NAKED SUN WAS RISING!
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Shroomy 4
The bank-clerk came into the room like a racing car.
“Thank you!” he said, really loud, grabbing my hand hard enough to hurt. “Thank you!”
I think I preferred him when he was grumpy!
He shook his head, with a sort of goofy smile on his face.
“You don't even realise what you've done, do you?” he said; “or how many lives you've saved?”
“Hey, well, er, y'know, I'm just chillin',” I said, pulling my hand free.
“Yes, but what you've done—” He caught sight of my work, and stopped jabbering. “... Hold on a sec... Is that... Is that a castle?”
“Yeah,” I said, backing off a bit. “D'ya like it?”
“But it's...” he said. “But... It's apricots!”
“Sure, 'cause bricks are too easy, and lemons don't, y'know, like being part of buildings. They roll all over the place.”
“But... Butbut... Apricots! He was struggling not to laugh.
That sucked.
You don't laugh at a guy's work, and it was a good castle!
I didn't say that, though. He's a real grumpy guy, and I didn't want to start him off.
“He is a creative person, Captain,” the girl's voice said. “You cannot expect him not to create.”
The asshole burst out laughing.
“Yeah, but, for fuck's sake, Apricots!”
He turned away, heading for the door, laughing all the way, the shithead.
“Bridge, please, Mel,” he said, through his Philistine laughs. “And bring him along. God knows, I don't want to see what'll happen if he discovers bananas!
“Oh, and find a way to preserve the apricot castle, Mel. It's a definite keeper!”
As soon as he was out the door, that cool countdown started:
Transport in Five... Four... Three... Two... One... *
This story is not part of the 'real' Old Spice universe.
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This page and all original content and all local pages linked to and all their original content are copyright 1997-2006 by Mark Wallace and/or Cloud Volpe unless specifically stated otherwise.
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